I Hate the Tylenol Guy / Gal

If you're old enough to know what that title means, you probably hate him / her too.

Those of you who don't know -- visit here.

To quote the above source:

The perpetrator was never caught, but the incident led to reforms in the packaging of over-the-counter substances and to federal anti-tampering laws.

And that, my friends is why I hate the Tylenol Terrorist (as he/she has also been known).

Shortly -- perhaps months -- after the enactment and implementation of the new packaging laws, I was cursing his/her name. Some packaging has just become a pain in the ass to open. Add to that the anti-theft packaging (especially the infamous blisterpak), and just your average folks have issues opening products.

However, having recently been diagnosed with a particularly nasty form of arthritis, I have been cursing the "Terrorist" loudly and longly (yes, Virginia, I know that's not a word). Now that I have fine motor skill / grasping issues, even those little pull-tab seals on catsup (yes, little one, that's the correct name -- WTF is "ketchup?") are difficult for me -- and no doubt countless others -- to open.

Grrrrr... I have an itty bitty paring knife that I keep around for sliding around the neck of a bottle through the nano-thin and nano-tough sheen of silver sealing me away from whatever product I'm needing at the moment.

And, sometimes, I wonder at the decision to seal a particular product. Tell me -- why would someone want to open up that tube of lotion and put -- oh, I don't know, dye? acid? -- into that itty-bitty opening? Now, I hope I don't give some budding copycat terrorist any ideas but, hasn't the manufacturer thought about the fact that a needle and syringe could get past that little seal? In the meantime, even the BLADE OF MY ITTY BITTY PARING KNIFE IS TOO FRELLING BIG TO OPEN THAT STINKING LITTLE SEAL AND I DON'T CARE THAT THEY PUT A 1 MM PULL-TAB ON IT SO YOU COULD PULL IT OFF, I CAN'T GRASP THE FRELLING PULL-TAB!!!!!

WTF ARE PEOPLE THINKING?

Ok, I'm a bit more sensitive now that I have this particular disability, but you know, I clearly (nay, DISTINCTLY!) recall fussing about that particular packaging decision BEFORE contracting arthritis. So, I'm not just awakening to the challenges of the disabled in this case.

All this keep-the-consumer-out packaging has only done one thing for me: underscored the fact that --

I. Hate. The. Tylenol. Guy.

I hope, if he hasn't died already, that when he dies, somebody seals his frelling sarcophagus with tamper-resistant silver plastic and throws him in a landfill where he can be preserved for all time.